So I've been keeping a secret, not the
scandal kind, the quiet kind, been busy
building something behind the scenes right
now sitting in my empty house feels like
I'm finally ready to say it out loud.
For real.
This podcast, it's not just a
launch, it's a bet, and I'm betting
everything about six weeks ago
during one of my early morning walks.
It's five 30.
Sun was barely up and
a thought dropped in.
It's one of those rare life downloads.
What if I've been doing this
whole business thing backwards?
Welcome to the bet.
Every journey starts with a
choice, and mine is a bet.
For one year, I'm gambling
on energy over strategy.
No more forcing and no pushing.
Just the courage to show up.
And see what happens when
reality becomes my playground.
This isn't a podcast.
It's a real time experiment
in the lab of my life.
Welcome to the bet.
Okay, here's what you're
actually listening to.
This is a real live business experiment.
I am building something from scratch.
No marketing plan, no strategic
promotion, just pure energy.
And this microphone, we're about
to find out if this actually works.
'cause for the past, I don't know,
three years or so, I have been
showing up on Instagram, creating
content about confidence and mindset.
Writing captions I hoped
would really resonate.
I've been following all the strategies the
experts said would work and look, to be
fair, I have met incredible humans there.
I have built friendships that have
really changed my life, so I would
not trade that time for anything.
But lately it's been feeling kind of ick,
like I'm trying to hack your attention
and panhandle for views and engagement,
and despite all that concentrated effort.
My actual business hasn't
even grown from it.
Not in revenue, not in email
subscribers, and not in building
the deep connections I'm craving.
Meanwhile, in the last year and a
half, I have created over 170 podcast
episodes that almost nobody has heard.
That's because they sit behind a paywall.
Where less than 100 people
even have access to them.
And those people tell me
it's the best work I've done.
Every single time I record a new
memo, it feels like I'm doing exactly
what I was put on this planet to do.
Every single week, I get messages telling
me how valuable those memos have been.
That kind of exchange lights me up
like nothing else in my business.
So rewind to that morning walk.
I'm going through my daily practice,
something I've done countless times.
It's this very specific process
I use to reprogram my identity.
I get to the part where
I'm programming the belief.
I love absolutely everything about
myself, and I'm really trying to
connect with it, trying to feel into it.
That's when the voice of truth hit me.
Why is the thing you love most about
yourself, the very thing you're hiding?
Why have you been keeping your best work
behind a paywall, and why have you been
forcing yourself to be a content creator
on Instagram while you're hiding the exact
work that feels as natural as breathing?
Clearly, it's time for an identity
shift, so that's what we're doing.
For the next year, I'm
gonna run an experiment.
I'm going to stop trying to force my
way to success through traditional
marketing, and instead, I'm betting
everything on pure energetic alignment.
No big launch, no promotional plan,
just me, the microphone, and the belief.
That if I create something that comes
100% from my deepest truth, then the
right people will absolutely find
it as that comes outta my mouth.
Yes, I realize how insane that sounds.
I am a 54-year-old grown ass woman
who's a full-time clinical professor
with a mortgage and a business to run.
It's also the start of a new school year.
I'm designing a brand new
class for our grad students.
Plus I already record two episodes
of Memo each week, and I'm in
the middle of running one of my
group coaching programs right now.
So there's a part of me
screaming, girl, you're crazy.
You cannot possibly think that this is the
right time to add a podcast to your plate.
And it's not.
It's actually the worst time.
But the voice said yes.
Actually the voice was a bit snarkier
because it reminded me we wouldn't even
be having this conversation if I had
listened last year or even six months
ago when it told me to go public.
So apparently the worst possible time
is when we're gonna go ahead and do it.
And so I am not kidding when
I say I don't have time for
experiments that might not work.
But what I'm already doing
isn't working either.
If pure effort and sheer will,
were going to produce results.
I would be sitting here telling you
a very different story right now.
So let me back up because I
want you to know how I got here.
This isn't my first time
making a bet on myself.
Five years ago, I was stuck, really stuck.
The kind of stuck where you're
desperate for a change, but nothing
you've ever known how to do is working.
I was overweight,
overstressed, overwhelmed.
I was waking up every day to a life that
felt like it belonged to someone else.
So I made myself a deal.
For one year, I was going to pretend
camera crew was following me around,
documenting everything, every workout,
every conversation, every meal.
Every decision, like my own personal
reality show, the idea was simple.
If I knew people would eventually watch
this documentary of my life, then I
would show up differently and it worked.
Not just the weight loss, although I lost
over 50 pounds in that time, but I learned
something even more valuable when you
commit to a process instead of an outcome.
When you show up day after day
without obsessing, over the final
result, you become someone who does
what they say they're gonna do.
And if you're gonna bet on yourself,
there's nothing more powerful than
proving your good for your word.
So after that transformation,
I was hooked on this concept.
I started little mastermind.
With some women from my
transformation group.
We called it Pivot, and I was so
naive back then, I didn't really
know what the term Mastermind
meant in terms of business things.
I heard that word and I
thought, oh, that sounds cool.
I'm gonna make a mastermind.
We're literally going to
learn how to master our minds.
That's totally my jam, and I shared
my vision with those women back then.
My vision of making a reality show.
Following eight women around for a year.
Eight bets.
Eight transformations, like that golf
show full swing on Netflix, where they
follow the PGA players around for a year.
And you kind of see who, who
makes it and who biffs it.
But this would be for
personal growth, right?
Our personal goals, that's what this is.
Except right now it's just me.
One woman, one microphone, one bet.
And if I wanna see progress, I'm
in the perfect position because
I've got nowhere to go but up.
Who doesn't love an underdog story?
But this one isn't scripted.
This is real.
I do not have a Hollywood production
crew handing me storylines.
this is my actual life . So not
long after Pivot, I started working
on Memo, my private podcast.
I committed to do two
episodes a week for a year.
I didn't know if I could hack it,
but I said I can do it for one year.
I sat at my kitchen table,
cataloging all the ways it might
fail, what if I ran out of ideas?
What if I got tired of doing it?
What if people wanted to cancel?
What if my mom somehow found it?
I started out with just four episodes
in the bank and I told myself, you
can figure out the rest as you go.
And now 170 episodes later, it's
truly the heartbeat of my business,
but I was keeping it hidden.
I am keeping it hidden.
It is behind a paywall.
Very safe from judgment.
. So when that voice on my walk asked, why?
Why are you hiding the
thing you love most?
I realized every bet I've
made on myself has worked.
Every time I've trusted my
instincts over conventional wisdom,
it has led me somewhere better.
. But I've been playing it safe
with the thing that matters
most, which is my actual work.
So this podcast, the bet is different
from anything else out there.
I'm not gonna give you another
personal development pep talk.
I am here to actually show you what
happens when you treat your mind
like software that can be upgraded.
Every human brain runs on
a default operating system.
Programming that was installed
when we were born and shaped when
we were young, designed to keep
us very safe, but fairly small.
You cannot delete this programming.
Trust me, I've tried, but you
can absolutely upgrade it.
I call this cognitive engineering.
Your mind constantly runs programs
in the background programs about
what you're capable of, what you
deserve, what's possible for you.
And most of those programs are outdated.
They're running on fears and limitations
that made a whole lot of sense when
you are seven, but they, they're
completely irrelevant to your life now.
When you notice yourself thinking, I'm not
ready, I can't do that, that's too much.
It's just old code running.
So what we're gonna do together in this
podcast is interrupt those programs,
install new code, and activate a
completely different way of being.
We're gonna catch the limiting beliefs,
the doubts, the resistance, the fear.
We're gonna debug them and then
install new code that moves us forward.
I say we, but I'm gonna be the one
doing this because you're gonna
see the results in real time.
As I take you through my
life through the next year, I
cannot believe I'm doing this.
So here's how this is gonna work.
Twice a week, I show up here Tuesdays,
you're gonna get longer episodes
like this one where I document what's
actually happening in real time, the
messy parts of building something
from pure energy, the celebrations.
The doubts, the breakthroughs, the
moments, I wanna quit all of it.
In Fridays, you're gonna
get mini memo drops.
These are five to 10 minute
episodes designed to interrupt a
specific mental pattern and give you
something you can use immediately.
Think of them as instant
software updates for your brain.
And I'm well aware I won't have the
luxury of mapping out all my episodes
in advance like I did with this one.
This is gonna be real time.
So I'm gonna get very comfortable
with having to go commando, no
script, no safety net, just whatever
needs to be said in the moment.
But here's what makes
this a true experiment.
I am not promoting this podcast at all.
I have no agenda for this podcast.
Podcast.
I haven't even told one single
soul that I'm doing this.
Not one person knows.
I'm not sitting here asking
you to rate and review it.
I'm not gonna be reminding
you to follow the show.
I want this to be as meta as it gets.
I am the scientist and I'm the experiment.
I'm gonna be literally using every
tool I teach, and hopefully I'll
be creating some new ones to break
through new barriers for myself.
Cognitive engineering, interrupting
my default patterns, upgrading
my mental software, and I'm
doing it all while you listen.
When I tell you about resistance, it's
gonna be because I'm facing it hard.
When I share a breakthrough,
it's because it just happened.
When my old operating system tries
to sabotage this whole experiment,
you will watch me catch it and
debug it in real time because
that's the only way this experiment
works With complete transparency.
You are not here for theories
or success stories or
retrospectives from five years ago.
You are witnessing someone vetting
everything on an idea and then
documenting what actually happens.
No safety net, no editing out the
messy parts, just the truth of building
something from pure energetic alignment.
Now, here's something
else I need you to know.
I'm coming into this deeply
suspicious of all of this energetic
alignment creates seven figures bs.
I know that these people who are
touting that are running ads in the
background and funnels, and these are
women who have been building a business
for many years, probably hustling, all
while preaching about manifestation.
And I think we like that story
because we all want to buy the thing.
We want to be true.
But I'm actually gonna test it for real.
So this isn't me promising
that pure energy works.
This isn't me saying I'm
not gonna change the rules.
If I feel pulled to pivot, if three
months in the voice tells me start
that email sequence, I might do it.
What I am promising is
complete transparency.
Every week I'm going to show up to
tell you exactly what's happening.
Think of it like a public way in except
instead of standing on a scale, I'll be
reporting business metrics, ? Downloads
revenue, and whether this whole trust
the universe thing is actually working.
I'm doing this because it sounds kind
of fun to me, and also terrifying
because even though this is literally
the worst possible time, new
semester, new course life is chaos.
Something in me.
Really wants to know, can you
actually build something real just
by being real or is that just another
story we tell ourselves because
the truth is too hard to swallow?
I'm willing to bet that if I show up here
in the most authentic way possible, it
will create something truly magnetic,
something that speaks to the part of you.
That's tired of surface
level transformation.
That's not what I'm about.
I am not here just to see
how big I can grow this.
Although, let's be clear, I'm writing
a huge energetic check on this puppy.
I am here to attract the humans
who are speaking my language,
the humans I can actually help.
I know that sounds either completely
delusional or maybe like the
most brilliant strategy ever, and
honestly, I'm not sure which one it
is, but we are all gonna find out.
This is part podcast.
Part reality show, part
business case study.
You're getting a front row seat
to either my greatest triumph or
a giant crash and burn, but either
way, it's going to be worth watching.
Look, we've been taught that success
comes from forcing our way forward
from hustling and doing what it
takes from posting more engaging
with everyone, optimizing everything.
But what if we have
been doing it backwards?
What if the real secret is to stop chasing
and to start generating such a strong
signal that people can't help but tune in?
What if the ultimate strategy is to be so
authentic that reality has no other option
than to reorganize itself around you?
For you, because I've
tried all the hard ways.
I am not a traditional manifestation
coach, although I do work with
energetics and identity mapping.
I teach at a university.
I believe in science and data and
evidence, but I also know that
everything I've achieved that
actually matters, came from trusting
something deeper than strategy.
Every transformation started with a voice
that said, what if you have been wrong?
Are you really going to let
this belief you have stop you
from having what you want?
Every time I've listened to that voice,
even when it made no logical sense,
it has led me somewhere extraordinary.
And on that morning walk, few weeks ago.
The voice got loud.
She said, stop hiding.
Stop adding noise when you
could be a damn signal.
So that's what I'm doing
if you're still listening.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I think it's because something
about what I'm doing here resonates
with something inside of you.
Maybe you are also tired of consuming
personal development content that
doesn't actually change anything.
Maybe you are exhausted from trying
to force yourself into boxes that have
been built for a different product.
Or maybe like me, you just know
there has to be another way.
Whatever brought you here, you've
landed at the beginning of something.
Episode one of a year long experiment
that's either gonna revolutionize
how I think about building a
business or prove I've lost my mind.
Here's what I know for sure.
The future version of you is waiting
on the other side of whatever bet
you are afraid to make right now.
That version is waiting for you
to trust the voice that's been
trying to get your attention.
And here's the thing, one year from
now, we'll see how this all works out.
Maybe this is season one and done.
Maybe I'll be sitting here 12 months from
now going, well, that was interesting,
but at least we documented it.
Or maybe.
Maybe by season two I'll
have those eight women.
Maybe this little experiment becomes the
proof of concept for that reality show
vision I had years ago, eight women,
eight bets, eight transformations,
all happening in real time, but
that's getting ahead of ourselves.
Right now it's just me, season one.
One year.
No script, no second takes.
Welcome to the bet.
Let's see what the Universe's
algorithm has in store for us.
Yes.