Okay, welcome to my morning walk.
I am literally stopping the circuit,
mid circuit in terms of this loop
I've been having since really this,
this whole weekend because I got
back from some travels that I was on.
I was at a wedding, I got back
Saturday and I was tired and I thought,
well, I still gotta record the bet.
I don't know what I'm gonna record.
And then yesterday came around Sunday
and I thought, I don't know what to say.
There's still this pressure, even though
this whole podcast about is about me
documenting my little one year journey in
this particular stage of my life, I still
feel this pressure because I am sharing
it, because I'm putting it out there.
I feel like it has to be helpful
for other people or have to have
some neat little lesson to share
or some bow to tie and present.
And I know that's not intellectually true.
Maybe it is.
I don't know why else would anyone listen.
Right.
So I'm, I'm like getting
ready to start my day today.
I'm actually running late.
It's after 9:00 AM already.
I've done my Pilates, I gotta go
into the university and I like
made myself just stop and go take
a walk to clear my head and really
ground into everything that I want.
Like what is my intention for the week?
And as I'm walking, I started
feeling this anxiety about,
when am I gonna record this?
It has to be ready by tomorrow
morning, Tuesday when it goes live.
I don't know what I'm gonna say.
Still.
Should I talk about some feelings
I had when I was , at the wedding?
I was around people I hadn't met before,
and , I saw some of my own patterns
about my beliefs about who I am.
Come up I, I found myself searching
for some problem to present to
you all and how I worked through
it when the actual truth is.
I've never been happier.
I've actually never been
happier with my life.
Not to say that it is not
challenging, but I'm in a really,
really good place right now.
And this is, what do I
wanna say about this?
This is one of those times in
the past where when I can't see
something to actively work on.
Like I don't see, I guess the belief
underneath it all is if I'm not
like actively working on something,
I'm missing some kind of blind
spot that's gonna take me down.
, Not weird, , because yeah,
I'm not editing any of this.
It's weird 'cause I'm walking.
You probably hear me breathing harder.
. Yeah, there's this belief that
I've always gotta be working on
something that's such a human trait.
There's such a human trait.
No other species analyzes
itself the way we do.
It's also a very evolutionary
trait, the human.
Has gotten to the point that we are, we
have evolved to this point specifically
because of this trait, specifically
because of our, our need to see progress
and the drive to see forward motion.
That particular trait has been
preserved within our species, right?
The, the, the whole.
Survival of the strongest, survival of the
fittest, survival of the most progressive,
the ones who find a new way forward.
So just interesting.
I personally love to link everything
that lots of people consider spiritual
or psychological even, , to biology.
I really.
I don't know why.
That has always helped me see things.
I think because I grew up with so many
strong emotions as a child, and those
emotions felt so real to me, and when
other people couldn't understand my
emotions made me feel very misunderstood.
And so I let those emotions drive
so much of who I am or who I was,
and so to have that discovery
along the journey of my life.
That our emotions are literally nothing
more than a form of intelligence
that our body manufactures for us.
The same way people can sense something
in their gut when something's off right.
And emotion is the same type
of intelligence that your
body is picking up on a signal
emotionally on an emotional wave.
And some people.
Have a very finely tuned emotional system.
All that, to say , this framework of
thinking of things, really everything.
Is biology, even signs from the
universe is your brain's reticular
activating system, tuning into a
symbol that you have given meaning.
Okay.
, So whether that's true or not true
doesn't really occupy too much of my
thinking, but I like knowing that there
is a biological foundation to everything.
That I experience in this world because
when it comes down to it, we are creatures
living in a biological technology.
Our bodies are walking, breathing
technologies, perfectly designed
little systems that operate on
technology, energy, energetic circuits.
, I was explaining to Mike over
the weekend, he had no idea about
the sodium potassium channels.
He's watching an episode of the Pit and
he is telling me why are people always
talking about sodium and potassium?
So we give him a little chemistry.
That lesson because we are conducting
electrical signals, every cell is
using that electrical gait to either
absorb or deposit what is needed or
no longer needed, and that's happening
all the time throughout our body.
It's really fucking fascinating.
Okay, now I'm really off track.
Um, see,
uh, so I guess the message this
week is, how easy can I make this?
How can I just let it be easy, that
I'm in a good spot, that I like
where I am, that I don't have a
problem to share with any of you?
That problems never need to be
looked for 'cause they will just
appear when they need to appear.
You can hear the airplanes
flying over, the birds chirping.
You get it all this week short and sweet.
It's just good.
And the more I'm like really letting
myself feel good, the more I'm
realizing how little I need, how little
I actually need to feel this way.
I love being able to put myself
in this state of gratitude and
bliss and joy with every breath.
Just drop into that
feeling anytime I want.
I was on my flight home surrounded by.
Potential things that would typically
irritate me, had the guy behind me and
the guy next to me snoring and coughing.
It was just like really, really loud
and it wasn't on any kind of set
rhythm or thing I could predict.
So it was just, you know,
startle me every so often.
And I used that time to just practice
being so happy in the moment for my life.
And for the opportunity to access
that peace and joy like we get
to personally manufacture that.
We don't need it to arrive from
anywhere, and I can see that
spilling into everything I'm doing.
So yeah, I feel a little bit
guilty for saying that right now.
Even like who, who am I to be so happy?
I'm really fucking happy.
My relationship has never been stronger.
My career.
I have custom designed over the course
of the last three years to really beat
a level that I can't even believe and
my, my friendships are so amazing.
So yeah, that's it.
That is the check-in for the week.
That's the check-in for the week,
and I am putting zero attention.
On Instagram.
That's the other thing I guess I should
say, wouldn't be a check-in without
talking about fucking Instagram.
Yeah.
Um, that's okay.
That, that threatens my joy when
I start thinking about Instagram.
, Okay.
So we'll see you next week.
Let's, I'm setting the intention now that
something amazing is going to happen,
that I will get to share with you all.
For the next episode, some kind of gift
that somebody out there must need to
hear about is going to be shown to me or
travel through me or land in my world.
So I'm tuning myself to receive that now.
Getting excited about what it could be
that I get to share with you next week,
and I'm sending everyone out there so
much love, so much respect, and all my.
All my faith, honestly, in humanity lies
in knowing that there are people out
there who are taking full ownership of
their lives and consciously, deliberately
choosing how it is they want to live.
So go bet on yourself.