Welcome to the bet.
I don't know why I feel
in a singing mood today.
I was literally just singing Raspberry
Beret because I got on a little
kick here for whatever reason.
When I was meal prepping this morning,
I was making my tortilla chips that I
make us for the whole week, and that
song came on my Spotify playlist.
And when I heard this particular line from
the song, it was like the perfect metaphor
for how I'm feeling about social media.
And that is when Prince Sings, seems
that I was busy doing something close to
nothing but different than the day before.
And I'm like, if that doesn't sum up
how I have felt this week, when it comes
to posting Here's what, here's what
genuinely confuses me, and I'm just gonna
go on a little documentary rant here.
, I don't get metrics.
I, they make no sense to me
because when I started posting
my substack notes consistently.
When I started promoting my article's,
consistency, the, it's the end
of the day people, we just got
done watching the World Cup too.
So I'm like, woo, drained
so I am like, ugh right now.
, So excuse me if my thoughts
feel all over the place, but.
What was I saying?
Yes, when I started consistently
posting, it seems like there's this
spike at the beginning of, I got
a bunch of new followers all of a
sudden, and a bunch of likes on several
of my posts, like 20 or 25 likes.
And then this week and maybe the
week before two, I'd have to go look.
It's like Cricket City.
I don't understand it that.
Must be some lesson that I'm
supposed to be learning because
it makes no sense to me.
And my automatic little story that my mind
wants to tell me is that people are just
interested in you when it's new or fresh.
And then once they get into a
rhythm with you, they lose their
interest and you're boring people.
That's what I'm thinking, that I'm
out there and I'm too boring and
I'm not holding people's attention
and I'm not holding their interest.
And it's like so ironic to me
because that's exactly what I, what
I'm trying to help people do is
direct their attention and focus.
So yeah, that's how I feel like
Prince, like I'm busy doing all this
stuff, but it amounts to something
close to nothing as far as I can tell.
So in order to get myself to
keep showing up, I have to
engineer these little mind games.
I have to engineer a new way of
thinking through things and I do this
all the damn time because otherwise
I would, I literally just quit.
And so what I did this week was say, what
are you going to use as your measurement
for a successful post if we just take out.
Whether or not anybody likes it,
engages with it, leaves a comment,
reads something, or if, if it gains new
followers, take all that out and just
look at the piece itself, because that's
all you can fucking control, right?
It's just like losing weight.
All we can control is the food we're
eating and the movement we're taking.
We cannot.
climb inside the scale and make
it , go down and show us that
we have made this progress.
So I was like, okay, if other people
recognizing this or engaging with it is
out of my control, how can I celebrate?
Or how can I measure success in
a way that's meaningful to me?
And so I just decided I'm gonna
measure it by the amount of.
Energy I feel when I'm creating it or
posting it when I'm writing it, like
does it, does it leave me feeling with
an increase of energy, okay, so that
I've just given myself something I have
fed myself, something, I've nourished
myself with something, or does it leave me
feeling drained and bitter and resentful
and all the things that I can so easily
feel about posting on social media.
And this is really brain 1 0 1, right?
If I really wanna keep doing
this long term, I cannot
have it be a suffering event.
I cannot have it feel like
it's not doing anything.
And so it's got to feel
intrinsically rewarding.
And to me, intrinsically rewarding
things are things that make me
feel like I have grown in some way.
Or shown up for myself or expanded
my possibilities or just, , increased
the overall energy that I have.
I've been tuning into that a
lot lately, like when I finished
working on a podcast episode earlier
today that literally beat my ass.
This podcast episode I'm launching
on Wednesday for useful thinking.
It's episode 17, so it's gonna
come out a day after this episode.
But I started that earlier than
ever because I got this idea about
what I wanted to talk about and I
dove into it and it has been like.
I feel like I'm wrestling with the Gods.
I, it must be.
'cause we went to go see the
Odyssey at like a true six story
IMAX theater the other day.
So now that's in my head right now.
I feel like I was going to
battle with this concept.
Usually I put a lot of effort
into my episodes, but usually
they, they click together and
they start to flow at some point.
This one has felt like, like a
giant concept that every time
I try to break down in a clear,
logical, explanatory method or.
Build some story around it
that helps illustrate it.
It's just felt like I've
hit a roadblock or a hurdle.
I've gotten so frustrated.
I've had to just set it aside and
truly work on knowing that when
the information is ready to come
out, it always flows out of me.
So today when I finally like
put the bow on that episode and
recorded it, I noticed I had this
huge surge in my energy afterwards.
That was what I was talking about
originally, is starting to tune into
where is my energy when I am done with
something, when I have finished doing
it, do I feel an increase in my energy?
Did I just give myself more
energy for something else,
or do I feel totally drained?
And social media is starting to
feel for me, kind of like a drain.
I actually really like creating.
What I'm gonna put in my social media.
I, I actually spend a lot
of time thinking about that.
And maybe that's my problem.
Maybe I need to be more like, people say
post and ghost, just throw it up there.
But that doesn't align with how I'm built.
I'm not, I'm not a throw
it up there kind of person.
I feel like this represents
a brand in some way.
Not that I'm that serious about
it, but I wanna be intentional.
About what I'm saying.
I don't want to be the person who's
adding more to the noise, and that's
what it always ends up feeling like
to me, we're adding to the noise.
So I'm also like really starting to be
open to seeing some way that, and I don't
even know what it is, that I don't have to
grow this business through social media.
There has to be other ways.
I don't know what they
are, but I'm open to it.
And to me, the podcast seems
like the perfect avenue, and
Substack is the perfect avenue.
Those are two long form vehicles
that I pour so much of my focus
into, so I'm gonna keep my
head down and keep doing that.
It's just these little short form
on Substack, they're called notes,
very much like Instagram posts.
And then on Instagram, you know,
it's the reels and the posts.
So my metric is gonna be, did it bring
me pleasure to create this thing?
And do I feel more
energy once it's posted?
Am I satisfied with what I created?
It's just gonna be as simple as that.
. The other piece, 'cause I know
my human design, so I know
this is a real factor for me.
One of my main energy
channels is self-expression.
And so I'm gonna ask myself,
does what I'm putting out there
represent true self-expression?
Or is it in any way being filtered?
Am I honoring my own self and what
my own self wants to say here?
Am I giving that voice the platform
that, that she wants to have?
Or is it being forced in some way or
changed or filtered through something?
So that's how I'm navigating that.
Other than that, that's
my updates for the week.
It's, it's like, it's so puzzling to
me how the numbers can shoot up at
the beginning and then just drop off.
If anyone has insight on that, let
me know if anyone's figured that out.
I honestly think it's just a
game that you have to continue
to crack away at, show up for.
I am doing this content
workshop that I invested in.
I'm actually learning a lot about
that, about writing in general,
and it's very much supporting this
direction of self-expression and not
having to write everything about.
Your actual product or you know,
your, your pillars of your business,
like literally sharing the things
that are interesting to me.
So I'm, so I'm starting
to do that a lot more.
And again, I see no likes coming
through, nobody recognizing it.
I mean, there have been a couple
things where, where I think this
is so valuable, what I'm posting.
This is so valuable, or this is so sharp.
This is truly how I feel about something.
And to not see anyone engage with it.
It's just so weird to me.
I was trying to think
of some other example.
Of what that might look like.
It's like, it, it'd be if you went
to go give a performance your a, a
Broadway performance and the curtains
rise and nobody's sitting out there,
and you still have to just show up
and go through the whole thing and
not let that mess with your head.
Somehow not let that mean anything
about your actual performance.
As I'm saying that, I don't know
why this just popped in my head.
This is how my brain works.
I'm sitting out there thinking as
I'm saying, like the curtains go
up and there's nobody observing.
I'm like, Ooh.
The observer effect.
That's what makes things
real in the quantum field.
See, I'm gonna go whackadoo
on you guys, right?
If nobody engages gauges with the
thing, there's no quantum entanglement.
So somebody has to observe the
particle in order for the particle
to behave in that certain way.
Maybe that's what's like
messing with my mind so much.
I'm like, if nobody's observing my work.
If nobody's interacting with it, then how
am I gonna be part of the quantum field?
How are people gonna find me?
So I don't know.
That was a total tangent
there that I just went off.
But this one's short and sweet.
I just wanted to capture it.
I'm actually in a really good head space.
I'm actually really happy I caught myself,
like I said, when I was doing my battle
over, coming up with that podcast episode
or really scripting it out in a way that.
I felt was cohesive , and useful.
I thought I had so much resistance
around it multiple times across the week
that I stopped on myself and thought,
okay, if you're having this much
resistance, that is a really good sign.
That is a really good sign that you
were about to crack something open here.
You are about to reach some kind of new
level because that's when resistance
is always highest is when we're just
about to break out of whatever operating
system we've been automatically running.
Okay.
That that resistance is always biological.
And so once I realized that, I was
like, okay, this is all just some kind
of biological illusion that I'm having.
That this is too hard or too difficult,
or I'm never gonna figure it out,
and I know that this episode is going
to be the best one I've ever done,
like just leaning into that faith.
So despite what I'm talking about
here, I'm actually in a really, really,
really, really good headspace for now.
We know that that can change.
I Let me just be clear to the universe.
I did not.
Invite anything new to come
challenge me on this right now, I
could actually use an easy week.
That's what I would love to have,
working more on my receiving things,
just because after the emotion of
last week, that actually turned
into a really good substack post.
I made a whole bingo card over
receiving things more Okay.
How many pinballs did I
launch in this episode?
That would be really interesting
to take the transcript and feed it
into AI and be like, is there any
cohesive line in this whatsoever?
But, but, but, but my metric
is authentic self-expression.
And do I feel good producing it?
And I do.
It feels good to get on
here, get all this out of me.
Document it, not make it a big deal, and
just move on to the next fucking week.
Moving on with expectation
that I'm gonna see miracles.
Miracles in my engagement.
How's that?
I'm gonna expect that this week,
despite what the evidence is showing me.
So that's all I got.
Thanks for hanging with me.
I hope you all had a great weekend
too, even though it's gonna be Tuesday
when you hear this, I always feel
like I'm just chatting to my friends.
So, there you go.
Have a wonderful, wonderful week.
As always, remember that you are
exceptional just by virtue of deciding to
be someone who shows up for your own life.
That alone.
Makes you exceptional and let me be
the one to fucking remind you of it.
That is an honor that I love
having so go bet on yourself.