Welcome to the bet mobile edition.
I'm commuting, so I'm just kinda
talking into my microphone as I
drive in today to the university,
and it's gonna free, free flow.
Is that a word?
, I'm in a really, really
good space lately.,
This is week 51, which is like, what?
How are we here?
I knew this day was coming.
I've actually been feeling
it for several months now.
, The difference is several months ago,
I'm sure I made an episode about this,
I was feeling a lot of pressure about
what are my results gonna be by the
end of the year, what am I gonna talk
about, is this going to even be worth it?
And today, one week out from wrapping this
whole experiment up, I'm feeling so free.
I literally feel free
from any expectation.
, I've been thinking about how do I
explain this or how do I classify this?
And somethingâ¦
You know how you can hear something 85
times and then when your consciousness
is actually ready to hear it at a new
level, you will hear it in a new way?
I was recording an episode of Useful
Thinking, I don't know, a week or
two ago, going through the shadow
side and the signature side of
each of the five energetic types.
And as I was talking about manifesting
generators, which I am one of, I
heard myself say, as if I didn't
know this already, that because this
particular type is energetically
designed just to be a busy kind of
creature, mani-gens are very, very busy.
, , and they're designed to be using that
energy on things that light them up,
And then I said something I've always
known as well, which is that not
every project that you start needs
to be finished, and not everything
needs to even amount to something.
Because we are so multi-passionate,
I call it like pinball energy.
if you've ever played old school
pinball when - you have all this energy
and you just release the ball and you
let it go all over the board and keep
it in play until it, it runs out of
its steam and goes back and resets.
But it's not like generators which
are bowling alley energy, right?
They, they, you s- you have all this
power and you roll the ball down
the lane and you're aiming it at
10 specific pins and you're trying
to get these pins marked down.
That's your objective, right?
It's more of pinball, like let's
see where the ball's gonna go.
And yeah, you can push the flippers and
do some of the cool things, but you can't
really control where that ball's gonna go.
It's gonna go where it wants to go, which
can make you feel, if you don't understand
that about your energy, that you can't
stick with anything or that you can't
take something across the finish line.
And the truth is like there are so many
things I've done in my life that have
ended up amounting to probably nothing,
just little curious paths I've followed.
And so it's not uncommon for a manifesting
generator to have a bunch of different
jobs, a bunch of different careers,
a bunch of different pivots, and that
has been very, very true in my life.
Even within my field, I
have pivoted multiple times.
I've worked in different arenas
of that field to where now I'm
actually a, a professor teaching it.
But it is interesting for me to
see that I've n- I've always kind
of gotten a little bit stale in
different settings after, after
a few years, typically speaking.
I had this illumination, I guess if
you wanna call it that, about what if
that's how my business is meant to be?
what if my business is not
meant to be some project that
I have the rest of my life?
At first I got a little pissed and I got a
little like, why can't I be like everyone
else and just stick with something
for the whole like shebang of it?
And then I realized how every single time
I have pivoted, it's expanded me in, in
ways that I, I wouldn't have imagined,
and it's created more joy in my life.
It's always led me to something better,
especially when I look at my career.
I don't know that I could- analyze it in
that way in terms of my relationships,
that would be a really interesting
little area for me to look at.
, But definitely in terms of my career.
Every time I've pivoted, it
has expanded me into new ways.
So I was like, "Why am I trying to make
this business be the be-all end-all of
everything, , for the rest of my life?"
How much pressure is that?
, I'm putting so much pressure on
the universe to deliver everything
I want to me through this one
doorway, doorway of my business.
Which is Making it harder, ultimately.
I look at this last year from where
I started, which is where I thought I
was gonna be pushing Memo as my main
product, and then running a bunch
of groups, I have really pivoted to
just letting Memo be a standalone
evergreen product that I rarely promote.
I talk about it in my articles, but it's
not like I have these launches of it.
And aside from my one human design
deep dive, which I did at the end
of last year, I think it was in
November, I've run zero groups this
year, and I've made more money than I
did the year before doing my groups.
? It has opened up a whole world
of speaking opportunities for me.
It's interesting, , what if I
released even having to do anything,
⦠I was also listening to a podcast from
someone who was talking about how he
was frustrated with getting his podcast
initially just over the hurdle of getting
a bunch of listeners or subscribers,
and how when his son was born, he
just completely quit focusing on that.
obviously, you got a new baby, right?
It was very easy for him to just
stop caring about that altogether,
and that's when his podcast like
expanded and sprouted and popped
off, and now he's got, of course,
millions and millions of downloads.
I think there's a lot to be
said about that kind of energy.
, , I was approaching this whole thing
of if I hold the energy firm enough
to this business, then it will
have to come to me through this.
And maybe it would.
Maybeâ¦
I've certainly had a
ton of growth this year.
, But am I really designed to lock
myself in to something like that?
I don't know.
Maybe that's also part of my
personal karma to overcome.
That's what I've been
thinking about lately.
, So to be honest, as I'm sitting here
saying all this, there's a part of me
that thinks people are gonna judge me.
People are gonna say, "Well, she's just
saying that now because she didn't get
the results she wanted," which is true.
, Financially, I set a huge goal for
myself this year, and I'm gonna be a
little shy of that if you includeâ¦
You know, I'll break it down next week.
, But I didn't hit that mark,
and I'm okay with that.
I'm really okay with that.
⦠I've never actually loved what I do on
a daily basis more than I have this last
year, and I will trade that for anything.
That's the, the feeling I'm going for,
that to me is worth more than, a few
extra tens of thousands of dollars
So yeah, there's a part of me that
thinks technically this is not working
out like my little heart hoped it would
when I set out for this a year ago.
I thought, ".. the universe is gonna
step in because I'm showing up 100%, full
faith, doing my thing every damn week.
There's no way that the
universe isn't gonna step in
and make this thing explode."
And that has not been the case.
That's not how it works.
I know it works like
that for other people.
Who knows, , why it hasn't
been that way for me.
I just know that I've never
been happier, nor have I felt
wealthier, if that makes sense.
I do think there's still some work
to do in terms of deprogramming my
brain that everything is always hard
work I don't know that it has to be.
I think there's a difference between,
I have been equating showing up
100% as meaning I have to give my
full effort, and my full effort
means I have to be exhausted and
wiped out and used everything up.
And that's pretty much
how my year played out.
I didn't give myself a lot of time.
I don't even think I, I went
on maybe a couple trips,
little trips, very small trips.
Mike and I didn't even
do a vacation this year.
. I mean, there was just no
time f- where I could really
block out uninterrupted space.
I've made my life so damn busy that
there's no time to relax and just
create space for new things to arrive.
So that's something for
me to consider as well.
I've programmed myself to be so busy and
have things feel difficult in the process.
Now, it's not like difficult,
suffering difficult.
It's just difficultâ¦
Like I'm doing work that I
find so genuinely rewarding and
fulfilling, so it's not awful.
But it is consuming a lot of my energy.
that's where I'm sitting with.
To be honest, I, I wanted
to get my recording in.
It's Monday morning.
This has to go out tomorrow
morning, so my thoughts are not as
organized as I'd want them to be.
But I did wanna capture this Even
things like recording this podcast.
You know, my life has been so
busy that I didn't have time
to do it over the weekend.
I used to do it every Sunday evening,
and last night I was recording my other
podcast and having to edit that thing.
And, , again, really rewarding work,
but this has left me in the position
of having to punt this little project
to recording it in my car or sitting in
the garage recording it, squeezing it
in versus giving it my full attention.
When I started this project a year ago,
doing this every week was a whole ordeal.
, So there's good and bad with that, right?
Uh, how much value am I really giving
myself just by doing it every week?
I don't know.
- But the good news is I've stuck with it.
I've been consistent.
There hasn't even been one week that I've
missed, even when I've been really sick.
So I'm very proud of myself for that.
I'm very, very proud of myself for that.
And at the same time, it's
probably part of the recipe
of why my life feels so busy.
So I'm actually looking forward
to completing this project.
Committing to something for
a year, I love doing that.
I do it every single year.
I haven't decided what my
next one-year bet is gonna be.
⦠You know, when you lose the fire for
doing the actual mechanics of it And you
still show up and do it, like that's where
the juice is that you get out of this.
okay, that's all I got for this week.
, There may be more that
I need to add in here.
I'll think about it.
If I do, I'll come back on and add
a little extra onto the end of this.
Otherwise,
Have a fabulous week, and as
always, go bet on yourself